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sarahwarah
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Name: helga
Birthday: 4/14/1900
Interests: blinking in pictures. :)
analyzing lyrics, guitar, fishing,
stalking my xanga stalkers,
challenging people, flying kites, surfing, swing dancing
Expertise: making people feel special and loved, laughing (at anything), sleeping, talking, talking, TALKING, epic, cornerstone, making stupid jokes, losing umbrellas
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/12/2003
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| No matter how poorly you sleep in your bed, you can always count on falling asleep in the car, especially in traffic. The head just starts dropping and rolling around until drool starts coming out....It's like being in a giant cradle that rocks you to sleep.
ahh cradles...
I can't wait to meet Lauren Grace in 2 weeks!!! *screams*
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| It'd be just great if I could live each moment with an eternal perspective. I'd have less anxiety, fear and insecurity for myself and others. How much more effective I could be in my life in everything I do! I heard this message of having an eternal
perspective on every situation today both in my bible study group at Arcadia
and on Jonathan's xanga. It's a lot to meditate on.
I focus so much on details and too much on what's right in front of me that I don't see what really matters, which is probably why I am so exhausted and anxious all the time. What really matters is my character and how I handle myself in these situations...and as of late I've not been handling myself very well and all my character flaws have been flaring up. I have a lot of work to do. I do see where I need to change my character...not to please others but because that's what will carry over into eternity.
living for eternity > living for the moment
Like my foot for example...because I haven't been able to do anything that requires walking, I've been feeling pretty crappy. But that's just for now and I forget that I won't be like this forever.
I just realized I haven't updated on how my foot has been doing post-cast (I got it off 2 weeks ago).
Here's what it looks like now:
Not so bad huh? Anyway, I could care less about what it looks like as long as it works!! I've been walking without any help as long as it's only for short distances and never have I felt so grateful to take steps without any crutch or brace. It's a bittersweet moment to feel the freedom as well as the throbbing pain that starts to creep on me as I take each step. So it's still a work in progress...a couple more weeks/months and I hope to be walking more normally without pain.
I used to dread the scar on my foot, but now with a more eternal perspective I know that it's a mark of a huge trial that Jesus has walked through with me. He was the source of my strength and He will continue to be for every step that I take (Thanks, yvo <3). I've never been so thankful to have the privilege of walking on two feet and the scar will remind me again and again that He is my healer and Savior for my every day.
I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then
I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem
Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering
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| I met Sharon Tay!
 AND she asked to use my bathroom!! That was awkward. | | |
| It took me a while to get here, but here I am – in the acceptance (and even hopeful) stage of my surgery and being in yet another cast for 2 months + rehab…more of wearing just one shoe which will be more worn out than the other one -_- More of learning to find creative ways to carry things around without any hands… This Wednesday is going to be a pretty big day for me. My biggest trial at 26 years (7 more days!!)…my first serious relationship and my boyfriend’s mother is visiting from China on the same day as my surgery for my most serious injury. Not only is she coming on the same day but she’s flying in during the procedure…so that leaves my boyfriend stressed - trying to come visit me and picking up his mom to stay with him, seeing her for the first time in over a year. Having a boyfriend for the first time while I’m going through my most serious injury – expectations of him being there with me are there. Selfish - I know. I struggled with this since I found out my surgery date that I was being overly anxious and pitifully selfish and needy and yet I didn’t want to stop. But I think I’m finally at the point where I see the bigger picture…it’s almost laughable (not laughing yet) at how life works out, but it’s at this point where I’m searching for a purpose in all this?? cuz ya know? I’m so sick of being in this state or anxiety!! “*ROAR! (I really roared) WHAT’S THE POINT OF ALL THIS??” I thought to myself last night. If all this amounts to my boyfriend’s mother accepting Christ through seeing His glory and power in this situation then this is all worth it. This really is an opportunity for me to go through all this suffering with an “angelic face” (Acts 6). I listened to daily voice and Dennis talked about how Stephen was able to take advantage of all the attention he was getting to spread the gospel - all the while he was suffering and being persecuted. He never once used that situation to pity himself but he kept pointing everyone to Jesus. I’m not even close to being persecuted but maybe…just maybe I was made the way I am with my health problems so that He could show His power in my weakness. Still I’m learning how to not waste these opportunities. I mean who else gets to have this very opportunity of being hospitalized on the day I meet my boyfriend’s mom except me? I’m also gonna have like 2 weeks off to just rest…a much needed one after the craziness of grad school and transitioning into the working life with zero breaks. I’m such a workaholic it’s like God’s forcing me to take this break now to rest. I want to use this time wisely to slow my life down and use it to reflect and make new goals for my life. This time off also means that I have to let go of my ministries in Arcadia for a while too…a first time, to pause from that…just as it was getting good too! The bond I have with those kids I serve have really been strengthening…but I’m excited to see other people step up as I take my break. J There are so many people who have blessed me with prayers and a listening ear where I vented out my anxieties and insecurities. I really want to make the most of all this to grow and become stronger and more dependent on God and help Sean’s mom see just how REAL God is!! So actually those are my REAL prayer requests. This ankle thing is simply a means to those goals. Thanks for the support, everyone! I hope to use my words here to reflect God’s miracle and use of me. “Oh the Glory of it all is He came here for the rescue of us all that we may live for the glory of it all” - D.Crowder | | |
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Thank you God for sparing me...
